Why I Like Playing Pool

Bangkok is a wonderful place to place pool. Here are some pics showing why I like it so much.

Thavorn

Jaidan

TTYL

Me and Willie - On a Lighter Note

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have

From Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson

I often get told I look like Willie Nelson. Now Willie has always been a favorite singer of mine and I take that as a compliment. I think I smile a lot more than Willie ever did.

Willie

Jimmy

Willie

Jimmy

What do you think?

On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again
And I can't wait to get on the road again

From On the Road Again by Willie Nelson

The good, the Bad, and the Ugly

You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant
Walk right in, it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track

You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant

Arlo Guthrie

The Good

In North American society the american dream is alive and well (maybe not so much for blacks and indigenous peoples) and if you go to school, graduate, and work hard you can better yourself. There are programs, loans and grants to help you move up the socioeconomic ladder. In Thailand, I do not believe it is easily done. The industry does enable good looking women to make a decent wage and put money aside to better their life, their children's lives, and their extended family. I have met quite a few young women whose sons and daughters are attending university or community college. Some of these moms have also given their children seed money to start up businesses such as auto repair, etc.

There are also successful relationships where Thai women do find the farang man of their dreams and they get married and live happily ever after in Thailand or the farang's country. I actually know many of these relationships.

The only other good I can think of is that much of Thailand's tourist trade revolves around the LOS's reputation for beautiful women with liberal attitudes.

The Bad

The whole predator prey relationship between punters and bar girls is morally bankrupt. It is one thing to engage in a purely sexual relationship but it morally wrong to take advantage of the other person through lies and deceptions. There is much written about how Thai's have no problem or guilt associated with lying. They will tell you what you want to hear, especially to save face. I also believe most farangs are usually honest but I also know some lie or exaggerate their financial situation to gain sexual favors at times. Maybe the bar scene back home in North America is no different. It has been many years for me and I am sure it has changed.

The Ugly

There is much talk about human trafficking in Asia and I know it exists but I have seen no evidence of it in the bars of Bangkok and Pattaya (Sin City). All the bar girls are of legal age (18) and almost all of them are over 21. BTW, prostitution is illegal in Thailand but you would never know it.

Maybe I am a prude, but some of the escorts, bar girls, engage in sexual activities I personally would never engage in. They charge more for these activities but I can't imagine they enjoy them, The major 3 activities I refer to as 'boom boom', 'yum yum', and 'Ow Ow' are common place. However I just don't get anal rimming, etc. What I don't understand is sometimes it is the most attractive girls offering up these services.

Observing the decline of bar girls from a 25 year old playing pool and chatting up clients, to dancing naked on stage, to working the HJ and BJ bars is also problematic for me. Many bar girls seem to be unable to save money for the future.

Alcoholism and drug use is also a problem but only with a small percentage of the girls that I see. I believe  a major reason they can not save is because they feel obligated to share their new found wealth with the extended family, no-good Thai boyfriends, and other bar girls down on their luck.

That is my take on the industry after observing and partaking in it for the past 6 years.

I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorcycle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorcycle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcycle

Arlo Guthrie

TTYL

Sex Industry - Part 4

At this moment in my Bangkok experience I had a weekend GF and no external job ... by that I mean the Vancouver contract had disappeared, as had my Russian friends. They were back in Malaysia which means I no longer helped support them in their efforts to achieve a better life. I am not sure Malaysia is the place to achieve that goal, but time will tell.

Around about this time my Mother passed away in Canada and in my sister's words, I was an orphan (Father previously deceased). I was definitely in need of friendship and company. My never ending divorce was ongoing and costing me lots of money so I had to be a bit frugal. I moved into a studio apartment at 12,000 Baht a month. That was down from the 25,000 Baht apartment that Pot and I had shared. I took to wandering the streets at night and frequented a few bars.

One bar that I enjoy is Hillary 2 that features 3 live bands a night. They are quite good and play music I like. I was there one night,with friends from Vancouver and they checked out a little early. Three girls at the next table over asked if they could join me and I said yes, prepared to buy a round of drinks. It turn out they had their own money and one of them bought me a drink. Now that is very strange in Bangkok and that is how I met crazy 'Not' (not her real name, but why not? ... pun intended). After a couple of hours I checked out and thought I would not see Not again.

However, one day I was at the ATM and when I turned around, 'Not' was waiting her turn. I asked if she lived around here and she said no, that she worked around the corner at a Massage shop. Turns out Not worked the Industry but liked to party when she took a day off. I was a little intrigued and walked with her to the shop and had a beer. She asked if I would like a massage and I declined and in all our time together, I never had a massage from Not although she is highly recommended by some of my friends.

I enjoyed Not's company and asked her if she played pool and she said no. I offered to teach her and she told me she worked 11 am to 2 am, 7 days a week, and would take 1 day off every 2 weeks. I asked her why she worked so much and she told she she likes money, wants to buy a car, and has an 9 year old back in the village that she looks after (along with her family I presumed). Can you call in sick? She said no, that she gets deducted a bar fine for everyday she takes off unless she goes back to her village for an extended period of time like 2 weeks.

I suggested that I could bar fine her for the day and I could teach her how to play pool and perhaps see a movie and have dinner later (the GFE, girl friend experience). She agreed and that was start of my weekday GF relationship. We would meet for breakfast  around 10ish or Not would come stay at my apartment after work, rather than travel the 30 mins home to her apartment. She would normally arrive about 2:30 am. I was upfront with Not and told her I had a serious relationship with GF1 on the weekends and that I could never see her then. She said she was okay with that.

Not was very popular and often was bar fined out of the massage shop for a night, or a week, and sometimes a month when one of her regular businessman types came into town on business. This meant I was often without Pot or Not. At this moment in time they are truly GF's because there is no money changing hands for services rendered apart from paying 750 Baht to spring Not from the shop. One day I asked Not what would it take to leave the industry and she said she averages 50,000 a month and that would be what it would take. I certainly could not afford to pony up half of my monthly income to achieve that goal. My relationship with Not lasted about 9 months and I met her daughter, went on vacation with her, and just generally enjoyed her company. I was just like the Thai boyfriend that most Thai girls working in the industry keep on the side.

When Pot asked me what I did during the week I told her about Not and she was not upset as in Pot's words, 'Men have needs'. It was at this time that I realized that relationship was on the wane. A little bit bittersweet but I understood why. Pot at 33 years of age was getting tired of waiting on my divorce and a commitment.

Then, one night, bored out of my tree, I went for a walk to QPP. I decided on a whim to take one of the four little lanes that I avoid because the girls are a little aggressive. It was not busy that night and I strolled along and noticed a girl with the most beautiful, welcoming smile. I smiled back and walked on, as I already had GF1 and GF2 and was fairly happy, if sometimes bored. I turned the corner and decided to loop around and this time I stopped to talk to the girl with the smile. Turned out she spoke almost no English. That is usually the sign for me to move on as I enjoy chatting the most, next to playing pool and engaging in sex. That is usually step 1, step 2, and step 3 for me.

For some reason I persisted and engaged another of the bar girls to translate for me. It turns out this girl had arrived 3 days ago from her village and was brand spanking new to the industry. She did not even have a phone. She had borrowed 3,000 Baht from the village loan shark and had set off to Bangkok to change her life, tired of Thai boys boxing on her, and/or cheating on her.

That was how I met Thavorn, the love of my life and mother of my third child. Our relationship had a slow start. I told her about GF1 and GF2 and said I would drop by to chat on nights I was free. I would buy her drinks and laugh a lot as she mangled the English language. My Tinglish is good and we communicated at times. About the 4th night we chatted, I gave her my old cell phone that I was not using any longer. It was a decent smart phone and some of the girls were surprised when I gave it to Thavorn as I had not bar fined her at all. That was to change.

The 5th time I met Thavorn, I bar fined her and took her to Hillary 2 where she had the time of her life. She was still trying to be a bar girl and was wearing heels and did a face plant on the way home as she had never worn or owned heels in the village. I laughed and laughed and as did she. She had, and still has, the ability to laugh at herself. On the way home she told me she loved me and I laughed and said, "You not know me... you like me." I told her we could be friends but GF1 and GF2 came first. I also told her that bar girls need a friend in Bangkok or they would get hard. She said okay.

I would take Thavorn to movies during the day and once or twice a week we would go to Hillary. Thavorn is very attractive but we never had sex as Not had a key to my room and I was never sure when she would come visit me during the week. It turns out that one night Thavorn got tanked and I did not want to leave her alone so I brought her home and placed her in bed, clothes in all, and she immediately fell asleep. You can probably guess what happened. Not arrives at 2:30 am and finds GF3 in my bed. It did not matter that she was fully clothed or not, and Not went ballistic. Never, never piss off your Thai GF!! I put Thavorn in a taxi and when I went back upstairs I asked Not for her key and suggested she go home as well.

That was how GF3 became GF2. It was not long before Pot informed me she had rekindled a relationship back up North and was getting married. I wished her well and we still chat online from time to time. GF2 became GF1 and we are still laughing each and every day. My Dad used to say never go shopping for food when you are hungry or buy a car when you need one.  Very wise words indeed.

I met Thavorn under those circumstances. I think it was fate or karma or some such weird stuff. It turns out she is a tiger like me and I am born on September 23 and she is born on September 24. I bought out her contract and she moved in with me and we subsequently moved into a larger apartment. Jaidan was a surprise. I left the choice to Thavorn and she decided to keep the baby. I would probably have left her if she had aborted. But I was not surpised! Thavorn was 27 when she became pregnant with Jaidan and she had already had 3 babies so she did not really want a 4th pregnancy, and as it turned out the farang baby caused her much morning sickness but she never complained.

I just want you to understand, that a farang can find peace, happiness, and love with a Thai girl, but you won't get it right the first couple of times. Third time lucky :-)

Part 4 will feature the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of the Sex Industry.

TTYL

Sex Industry - Part 3

My first real Thai GF was a girl I will call Pot, which is not her real name. Pot is pretty good with English and is married to a hi-so Thai man and I do not wish to cause her to lose face. BTW, all Thai girls have nicknames that are usually 3 or 4 letters long, hence the name Pot. My apologies to all the Pot's out there.

I met Pot, quite by accident. I arrived in Bangkok late on Friday night and was booked into the Westin Hotel on Sukhumvit. I was meeting Pai for pool on Saturday afternoon and I thought I would spend a quiet night in the hotel. However my ADHD kicked in and around about 10 pm I started to get bored and went for a walk. I had no destination, but luck, karma, fate, or whatever intervened and I stumbled onto Soi Cowboy, for the first time, which is one of the favorite red light districts in Bangkok.

My initial impression was of sensory overload! I walked fairly quickly, the length of Cowboy, which is about 200 meters. Now that 200 meters will have about 50 bars and over 1000 beautiful Thai girls parading their assets outside the bars. I was intrigued, but also a bit intimidated by Cowboy at that moment in time. I turned around and walked a bit more slowly, attempting to take in the show.

As I neared the end of Cowboy I was corralled by a middle aged greeter by the name of Sa. Sa used to be a bar girl, but time had run its course and she was now too old and chubby to attract farangs and had become a greeter. Her job was to try to get the shy, retiring kind of guys into the bars where the sharks could work their magic. I was not keen on going inside, but there was a bevy of girls sitting outside waiting for someone to buy them a beer. Sa pointed out a girl  who was a Thai-Chinese mix (I was to find out later, 75/25) who seemed uninterested in the whole scene. That fit with me so I let Sa steer me over to Pot's table and I sat down and Sa introduced us and ordered 3 beers (1 for each of us). Sa left us alone and I tried to strike up a conversation.

It turns out that Pot was not all that keen on farangs and preferred Japanese men for a variety of reasons I would learn about over the next couple of years. Sa arrived back with the beers and livened up the conversation a lot. English competency is directly related to how long  the girl has been in the bar. Sa told me Pot had just started working the bar 3 weeks ago and was having a difficult time adjusting. Of course I did not believe Sa as most Thai girls will spin the same yarn about being new to the bar scene. Bar girls know that farangs prefer their Thai girls with low mileage and would prefer a Star Trek girl (go where no man has gone before) but then again, you could always get struck by lightning or win the lottery.

Pot's sister-in-law joined us at the table and another beer was procured and her sister (who had considerable bar time) teased her about pretending to like the job and put her arm around me and proceeded to act as if I was the only farang on the planet. Definitely a good bar girl which Pot was not, and would never be. Not sure why, but after a couple of beers I asked Pot to spend the night with me and she disappeared to change. Thai girls always dress very conservatively when they leave the red light district. It is all about 'face' and getting past the security at the higher class hotels. I was surprised at the change in her. She even smiled ... somewhat :-)

We walked the short distance to the Westin and security asked Pot to register at the front desk. They do this in case the bar girl rips off the farang during the night. Thai girls always have their identity card with them. Good things on it are their age (keep you out of jail), their picture (make sure you have the right girl), the ID # so you can always have something to track them down, and most importantly, their sex, in case you want to avoid the LBE (Lady Boy Experience).

I won't bore you with the details other than to say the night was an eye opener to me. Pot became my first TGF and I would fly to Bangkok every other weekend to be with her. In between, she worked the bar and the more attached I got to her , the less I wanted her working the bar, although she seldom went with anyone and preferred to get Japanese guys to buy her drinks. The Japanese guys all said she looked Japanese and many spoke Thai.

I decided after 3 weekends that I would buy Pot's contract. Buying her contract means that I no longer had to bar fine her and If I ditch her, she can always return to her job at the same bar. Little did I know that it also means she could work the bar whenever she wanted to and there was no pressure to go with 'customers' which is what bar girls call the customers. I remember the night I bought her contract. I never realized that it resulted in much status for Pot, cost me 10,000 Baht, and the mama-sans presented Pot and I with a bottle of our choice for the evening. It was a very memorable evening.

At that time, I was half in Bangkok and half in Vancouver, which meant that I would spend 2 months in Bangkok and then 2 months in Vancouver. I had a software contract in Vancouver I used it to fund my lifestyle. I decided to for go couch surfing and get an apartment in Bangkok for Pot and I. Pot had been sharing a room above Cowboy with 5 other bar girls. I thought I was doing her a favor, which I was, kind of, when I was in town. However, when I was in Canada, she missed company (afraid of ghosts, as most Thais are!) and would sleep in her old room above Cowboy with her friends. I gave her enough money so that she did not have to work the bar, but the first time I left for Canada Pot worked the bar. My buddies ratted her out and when I came back to Bangkok, I confronted her.

I have since come to realize this is normal behaviour. Most bar girls do not believe you are coming back. I remember the first time we flew out of Bangkok to Malaysia. Pot did not want to go and eventually I discovered she was afraid I was going to sell her. In the LOS, it is not all that unusual for their own mother to sell them. Enough said.

Pot was what I would refer to as Thai Thai. She is a very traditional Thai girl. All things being equal, she wanted to marry a Thai man who would treat her right, meaning not cheat or box her, and have some children to look after her in her old age.

Pot and I ended up parting, as she did not like that I had my Russian friends in my life, and would leave her for 2 months at a time. She would not post any pics of us on her Facebook page and when I asked her why she said she would when we got married. She did not want to lose face if I ditched her.

Pot was 32 when I met her. She had left school at 15 and at 16 was working 12 hour days, 2 weeks at a time (with 2 days off) in Western Digital, and later Fujitsu clean rooms assembling hard drives. She did this for 15 years until at 31 she had saved enough money to buy a truck for her parents back in the village. She put about 200,000 Baht down and was paying 10,000 Baht a month and was having problems making ends meet. Her overtime kept her afloat. Eventually fatigue and her sister in-law persuaded her to try the bars. I met her before she became 'hardened', of which I will speak more of in later posts.

The sister in-law had a Japanese boyfriend working in Bangkok who decided to go back to Japan. Before he left he gave her 500,000 Baht which the sister-in-law used to leave the bar trade (she was getting on in age and was over 35) and she purchased a Hair Salon on the other side of Bangkok. Bangkok is huge (over 12 million people) and that meant that Pot (who decide to work at the salon) would go live with her and see me only on the weekends.

That was the beginning of the end as I was all alone in Bangkok 5 days a weeks and soon GF#2 and GF#3 appeared on the scene.

Part 4 will discuss how Pot followed her dream, one very crazy Thai massage girl, and Thavorn came into my life

TTYL

Sex Industry - Part 2

There are 4 main red light districts in Bangkok. They are Si Cowboy, Nana, Pat Pong, and Queens Park Plaza on Soi 22, the street I live on. Of course I am most familiar with Queen's Park Plaza for a variety of reasons. My first exposure to Queens Park Plaza was when I was living in Malaysia and visiting Bangkok every other weekend. It was a short flight of about an hour and I flew in on a Friday night night and out at 6 am on Monday. That gave me 3 days in LOS (Land of Smiles). A teacher buddy of mine introduced me to QPP (Queen's Park Plaza).

QPP is unique in that it has no Go Go bars and is more or less a rabbit warren of small pool bars. They are small bars, about the size of your typical Starbucks back home. They have one or two pool tables, about 5 small tall tables with 4 stools around them, a bar, and about 7-12 girls, aged 18 to 35 years of age. I have never counted but I would estimate there are 20 of these bars in QPP.

As you walk around the plaza you will find groups of girls sitting outside the bars, sitting inside the bars with men, or playing pool. Most of the girls that work these bars are good pool players as they have nothing else to do but practice (at least before the smart phone and facebook) or eat. You will be welcomed by 'Welcome, come inside, play pool, have a drink', 'Handsome man ...', Where are you from?, ' Where you go?', etc.

I like these bars because the girls have clothes on, they are 'chat' friendly, and there is always someone to play pool with. I have mentioned before that I like to play pool. The bars open up early or often stay open 24 hours a day. The girls start arriving at 3 pm, 6 pm, and 9 pm. I still frequent 4 of these bars as I have many friends, including bar owners, mamasans, girls, and food stall operators. Most everybody knows Jaidan's name and they all vie to hold him for a while. Rendezvous bar is my favourite as it opens up onto Soi 22, has a breeze, has a great happy hour until 6 pm, and is a great spot to people watch. I have met many farang men, and couples at this bar and I enjoy chatting with the newbies and expats I meet.

The first bar I bar fined a girl at was Meow Meow Bar. A buddy and I decided to go listen to some live music down in Nana at a place called Hillary 2 and we decided to take two girls with us for the gfe (girl friend experience). My first Thai girl was called Pai and she left the bar industry about 4 years ago to retire to her village. She was 35 and lots of fun. I subsequently bar fined Pai a couple of  times over the next 2 months.

I know the owner at Meow Meow and would often stop in to play pool with her as her English was very good. She was about 40 years of age and the interesting thing about the bar was her daughter also worked as a bar girl (20 years old) and was very popular with the clientele. I never did work up the courage to ask mom how she felt about introducing her daughter into the industry. My guess is she would say the industry had been good to her (and it had) and that in time her daughter would take over the bar. I would imagine her daughter was pulling down 50,000 Baht a month.

The 'jackpot'! I would be remiss in not mentioning the 'jackpot'. What most of these girls want, more than anything else is some good looking, young farang to fall in love with them and 'look after them'. What this means in their eyes is they have a hi-so life style and get to sit home, eat, sleep, watch TV, and facebook their new life style. One must remember that when you 'look after' a Thai girl, you will also be expected to 'look after' their family as well. This may involve sending money home to mama every month among other things. This is pretty typical, but it does not have to be, if you choose the right girl. More on what 'right' means later. For the 'jackpot' to happen, the farang must have a job or be retired in Thailand. The other alternative is taking the Thai girl back home to your own country but Thai girls prefer to live in Thailand to be close to their family.

There are also minor jackpots. These are farangs that come visit Thailand every 6 months for a couple of weeks at a time looking for the 'love of their life'. They have lots of money to spend and live the good life for two weeks while they are here. Thai girls think that they must be filthy rich. The farang invariably falls for the Thai girl and does not want her working the bar anymore and tells her that. She agrees, but details the amount she needs to stay out of the bar. This is usually 30,000 Baht which is the amount she makes every month in the bar. After all she has a family to support back home and the house needs a new roof, etc. So the farang ponies up the $1,000 a month to keep his honey out of the bar while he is back home, saving up and dreaming about his next 2 weeks in the LOS.

I know some bar girls who have 4 of these small jackpots on the hook at one time bringing in an income of well over 100,000 Baht a month. The weird thing about it is that they have 2 months of actual contact with these farangs and they still work the bar the other 8 months, for additional money. These girls are the top 20% and will be young, vivacious, and lots of fun to be with. I think of them as the 'sharks' of the bars fishing for farangs. Sooner or later the farangs catch on to the game but not before they are fleeced for a year or two. I know a few girls who have done this and have even had the unsuspecting farang over to dinner. I often ask myself who I owe my loyalty to ... a bar girl I have known for years or a farang passing through her life for a few weeks at a time.

Enough about jackpots and farangs getting ripped off. The flip side of all this is the punter who flies in for a few weeks with some money to splash around who tells the girl to take the next 2 weeks off and then has the time of his life and then disappears without paying the girl anything! She takes the chance ... just like buying a lottery ticket!

I also warn bar girls about going too young with a lifer in Bangkok. This is a story I have heard many time. Bar girls meets handsome man. She is 22 and he is 32. He lives with her for a decade and then boots her out of his condo when he is 42 and she is 32. It seems he has found new 22 year old to take him to 52 at which age he may settle or go one more round. So, am I promoting old farts and young girls? Actually the Thai girls refer to old farangs with young girls as 'snakes'. Thavorn often teases me about being a 'snake'. I am speaking from experience. I know many expats working in Bangkok and the lure of Bangkok is the 'young' women.

So, what is a good mix imho? I have found 30 and 50 makes a good match, or even 35 - 55. You will find a Thai girl of 20 does not have much life experience worth talking about, whereas a Thai woman of 30 has had many more life experiences than a western woman who may not even check out of her parents home until their late 20's or early 30's.

I often see western couples pointing at an older farang male with a younger Thai woman making some comment that I am sure is not all that flattering to either. It does not help that a Thai woman of 30 often looks like she just turned 20 years of age.

I often think of Pierre Elliot Trudeau who dated Margaret Sinclair. He was 48 and she was 18. They married at 52 and 22. Canadians at that time thought it was cool. As it turns out, Margaret was too young. She went wild and rebelled. Good old Pierre had his last child when he was 76, a girl who we seldom hear about.

Part 3 will continue as I talk about my first Thai GF.

TTYL

My Take on Thailand's Sex Industry

The next couple of posts will be my opinion on the Thai sex industry ... why it exists ... what it is like ... what type of people engage in it (buyers and sellers) ... what is for sale ... and winners and losers.

I feel I have a good handle on the industry after 5 years in Thailand. However, my views are probably quite different than a 25 year old western female so keep that in mind.

First off ... Buddhism, unlike most religions does not have much to say about sex ... what is permitted and what is taboo. That means that Thais do not have a sense of guilt associated with the acts of sex. However, please understand that Thai society has norms. For example, you will never see a Thai woman in public going bra less. It just does not happen. They are quite modest in public outside of the red light districts. So the first major difference is there is no religious guilt re sex outside of marriage.

The second most important issue is the low standard of living in most asean countries. Here is a chart that illustrates minimum wages per country in US$.

The take away from this chart is the Thai minimum wage of $10 US per 12 hour day.

Please note that many countries are worse!

Minimum wage is important but what of someone who goes and spends 4 years at university. How much can they earn? The following chart illustrates high school, college, and university grad earnings. You can simply divide by 30 to get the US $ equivalent.

You will notice that a university graduate can earn 19,200 Baht a month or approximately $640 a month. You would make much more on pogey in Canada.

Most sex industry workers have only a grade 9 education so they would be earning minimum wage or 9,000 Baht a month which is $300 US, again, for a 12 hour day.

In western christian/Judaic societies we hold certain types of people who earn money using their physical assets in high regard. These would be professional athletes, entertainers like ballet and jazz dancers, high fashion models, etc. For some reason, these very same societies condemn any woman or man who uses their body to perform a sex act for money.

However, I would venture that best looking women end up with the highest earning men. Are they guilty of parlaying their good looks into a higher social status? Food for thought :-)

I think there are two main reasons women end up in Thailand's sex industry.

The first reason is economics. I have heard this story so many times from so many girls working in the industry. They finish school at 15. By 16 they are hooked up with a Thai boy of similar age. Both are earning 9,000 Baht so they bring in 18,000 Baht, which is almost the same as a university graduate. They can live and have fun. Unfortunately the girl becomes pregnant, gives birth, and can no longer work. Now their income is halved and they have a baby to care for. This is hard on 18 year olds. 

Pretty soon the boy starts getting angry, starts 'boxing' (Thai phrase for physical abuse) and starts fooling around on the girl. The baby gets sent back to the village where the girl's mom looks after the baby. The girl goes back to work but sends 5,000 Baht of her salary home to momma to look after the baby. Life is not too bad until the girl gets pregnant again. This time the Thai boy who is 19 sees what the rest of his life will be like and 'fucks' off leaving the girl with 2 babies. She can't get a job in the village so she leaves to go to the city to get a job. 

She gets a job at 9,000 baht and sends as much money home to mamma as she can. It is not long before she is hooked up with another lo-so Thai boy but is not much of an asset as she sends most of her wages home to mamma. It is not long before she is pregnant again or the Thai boy is fooling around on her. She looks for a way out of this trap and the only way is the sex industry where she feels she has control of her life.

Girls end up in the industry by referral. They another girl or a friend of a friend with a contact in the industry. The industry is very different that it is in North America where it is effectively against the law. In North America women end up working for a pimp who controls them and leaves them little choice in what they do. They often hand over most of their wages to the pimp.

There are different type of workers. 

There are the freelancers who work the various hotel bars (if classy) or the street if not so classy. Regardless they have no pimp and choose their clients as required by economic need and personal taste. They are not forced by anyone. Some of these girls are in university earning money for tuition or money to shop with. There aren't many of this type of worker. Prices vary. (1,000 - 3000 baht)

There are the escort girls that you can book online or by calling a number. These girls all tend to be beautiful and classy and demand a higher price. They come to you and will spend short time (2 hours) or long time (all night) for the gfe (girl friend experience). Prices vary. (5,000 - 10,000 Baht)

There are the girls that work the bars. They earn there money by getting patrons to buy them drinks at the 'lady' rate which is usually twice what the usual rate is. These girls can often make quite a bit of money from drinks in one night. 10 drinks = 1,000 Baht which is over 3 times the minimum wage. Many of these girls never 'go' with a 'customer'. They are content with the 1,000 Baht. Coyote dancers fall into this category. They are often university students, young, 20ish, and great bodies.

There are the gogo girls, often working the same bars ... they dance or shuffle around a stage to music. They usually have a number tag on their leg (that may be the only thing they are wearing) and will come to sit with you and talk, hoping you will buy them a drink, and possibly take them out of the bar, short term or long term. You simply ask the mamasan (older retired industry worker) that you wish to talk to number 77 (yes, there can be that many in a larger bar) and she will come talk to you. The girl does not have to go with you. It is her choice and she may say no if she does not like you or finds you offensive. If she does decide to go with you, you will have to bar fine her (500 - 750 Baht depending on the bar). This bar fine is required because you have removed an asset from the bar (girls get you to buy drinks which is good for liquor sales). The price is usually 2,000 baht short term or 5,000 Baht long term. The girl may jack up the rate if business has been good and you are not attractive.

There are also two other types of bars where women (they are usually older or not so pretty) ply their trade. These are the so called HJ and BJ bars. I really do not know much about them apart from what friend have told me and I have read on the internet.. They offer their services in the bar, sometimes discretely, and sometime not so discretely. HJ's are 750 baht and BJ's are 1,000 baht. I believe this is the bottom of the pit in the industry.

Then there are the massage parlours that offer happy endings. Everything happens in house. The massage is 500 baht and the happy ending is 1500 Baht. How do you tell which massage parlours are part of the industry? Easy, if there are a bunch of pretty, sexy girls outside saying 'welcome, handsome man' then duh!

In the 5 years I have been in Thailand there has been an increase in girls who are making a career out of being in the industry. They are young, beautiful, and have no children. They can earn anywhere from 50,000 to 100,000 baht a month.

This is the end of Part 1 where I describe the industry. In later parts I will describe some of the girls I know who work in the industry and discuss whether the punters prey on them or the girls prey on the punters.

TTYL

Making a Difference

I was reading an interesting article about how your life can be judged by the number of people who show up at your funeral. That is indeed an interesting metric but not much of an indicator to the 'living'. I like to think that the 'thank you's' you get as you move through life are a good indication of whether or not you have made a difference.

Some of you may know that I am a partner in a software business with Brent. We create education software that is used by 5 Boards of Education in Ontario, but the biggest user is the Ottawa District School Board. We have a great relationship with this school board despite previously working for the local competitor. I recently received this eMail form one of our key contacts at that Board.

Hi Brent and Jim

I have just been awarded a Director's Citation for 2015 for my work on ePLC.  I share this honour with you both. You have always been there for me, with your guidance, patience and constant support during my crisis, my demanding wish lists even when on holidays or late at night in Malaysia.

Jim - do you remember that first year in 2008....OMG....my first group to register on ePLC was kindergarten teachers...who, they tell me later, are all computer challenged.....

ePLC has come a long way since then and I will be forever grateful to you both.

Thank you for making me look so good!

With gratitude,

Diane

I can't begin to express how good this makes me feel!

Ditto for my basketball coaching. I recently cleaned house back in Ottawa and tossed away many trophies and medals my teams had won over the 30 years that I coached basketball. After you win a couple of times it becomes less important and more about player development both as a basketball player and a person.

I encourage all of you to try a make a difference in someone's life ... each and every day ... you never know what a smile and cheerful good morning or 'sawatdi kha' (female) or 'sawatdi khrap' (male) can do to brighten a person's day. Little things can make a diffence :-)

TTYL

Salt, Coffee, Mercury and Gold

There is a Thai lady who owns and runs a typical Thai street food cart. She sets up about 9 am in the morning and works until about 9 pm for a 12 hour day. I consider her teh salt of teh earth. She works her butt off but is always in good humour and always has a smile for Thavorn, Jaidan and I. lately she has acquired a farang boyfriend who sits beside her cart for 3 hours for a lunch and to keep her company.

Here's a couple of pics of her. Please excuse the back lighting ... was not thinking when I took the shots. BTW, all pics are taken by my Note 3 and immediately transferred to my DropBox account (1 Terra byte) from where I choose to import to this blog. Quick and dirty but makes it easy for me.

Thavorn ,Jaidan and I like to frequent CoffeeBean because it is air conned and gives us a break from the heat when we are walking to somewhere. It is at the end of Soi 22 which is the street we live on so we have to pass it. Luckily they have many specials like buy one get one free. Jaidan likes the blueberry muffins and so do I.

Thavorn and Jaidan at CoffeeBean.

A couple of days ago I noticed Thavorn scooting along the bedroom floor chasing something. It turns out it was a little silver ball that she was trying to pick up but was being unsuccessful. She looked like a cat chasing a ball of yarn. I became intrigued and offered to help. It did not take me long to realize that it was a liquid and was mercury which is very dangerous. I asked her where it came from and one of her kids had broken a glass thermometer and the mercury had run out on to the floor. I showed Thavorn how to push it onto some cardboard and then into a plastic bag that we disposed of in the garbage which I know is bad. I then decided to open all the windows so that any vapor the mercury had let off coud escape to the great outdoors and not be inhaled by Jaidan.

I then explained to Thavorn the periodic table and how some of the elements were a little bit strange and some quite dangerous. I have fond memories of one of my ex student (let's refer to him as Pat as that is his name :-) stealing some potassium from the chem lab at St. Pius X in Ottawa, getting a little bit worried about it, and flushing it down the toilet which subsequently exploded. I found him in the office awaiting the vice principal and when he told me what he did I could not stop laughing, much to his consternation. Thavorn found the story quite funny as well.

Fast forward to yesterday and Thavorn is concerned that some of the gold jewelry we bought is fake, gold plated instead of 24 carat as advertised. It sure looked that way to me as tiny bits of silver were showing through. I told her that we would go see the gold shop tomorrow and see what gives or get our money back. So, thinking the worst, and loaded for Thai bear, off we went.

Turns out the gold smith was pretty savvy and said the gold had reacted with some chemical and that he would put it in a bath to clean the gold. He came back a while later with the gold all shiny and intact and told Thavorn to be careful if spraying with some perfumes or cleaning with some products. By this time, the light bulb was going off in my head and when I got home I did a little research on the net. This is what I found.

Mercury dissolves to form amalgams with gold, zinc, and many other metals.

Obvious, Thavorn had got some on her fingers and transferred it to her ring and necklace where it reacted and bonded to the gold forming a silver substance of some sort.

So what was the lesson I learned today. Some things you learn in school are useful and don't always assume the worst when dealing with Thais.

TTYL

Alone Today

Jabba and the kids left in the early morning and in true Thai fashion there were no thank you's, no hugs, just a goodbye. Thavorn told me that the kids did not want to go home which did not surprise me all that much.

As soon as the taxi pulled away I was up sweeping and mopping the floors, washing towels, bedding, etc.  Three hours later I was done and things no longer stuck to the bottom of my feet when I walked.  What a great feeling!

I made a couple of copies for myself and signed into iLikeHD (my streaming service) and put the latest Hobbit movie on in English with Thai subtitles. I even go to use the remote to switch the input to my computer. Thavorn and I curled up on the couch (for the first time) and Jaidan fell asleep to the start of the movie. Great end to the Hobbit movies.

Once the movie was over we had a quick bite to eat and then watched Taken 3 with Liam Neelson whom I like. It was great to just worry about ourselves for a change.

Jaidan needs a break so I will take him up to the pool ... something he really enjoys. Oops, just looked over and he has gone to sleep once again. Must be the peace and quiet :-)

TTYL

Jabba and the Kids go Home

Tomorrow, Thavorn's Mom and her her children head back to the village and I get to reclaim, my floor, my couch, the television remote, and my peace and quiet. Apparently Jabba is bored after her 3 weeks with us.I would have thought 3 weeks without having to cook, clean a dish, or clean house  ... as well as all the yummy food you could eat and drink, would be a 'good' gig if you could get it ... but apparently not.

I think Jaidan will miss Thavorn's other children because they play with him about an hour a day and he seems to enjoy it. But seriously, 3 adults and 3 children in a one bedroom apartment is just too much. Live and learn :-)

Today was a quiet day as Thavorn, Jaidan, and I went to Big C to do some grocery shopping. I completed my morning swim as usual and apart from some programming for my business back home, that was it.

I think tomorrow I will try to get to the gym. I have a 5 day pass for the Sheraton that has to be used before the end of the month. Time to get running again!

I know Thavorn is looking forward to taking a break from cooking and cleaning dishes. Jaidan and I will also have to head out on our usual daily 2 hour walkabout to give her a really good break.

TTYL

Interesting Blog

From time to time I will put up a link to an interesting blog about Thailand.

This blog post is great for anyone thinking about retirement in Thailand.

https://retire2thailand.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/10-reasons-why-not-to-retire-to-thailand/

Here is a snippet from the post:

3. Nature

There are creepy crawlies everywhere in Thailand; some are just sickening, and some will make you really sick. Here is a list of just some of the animals I have found in and around our garden.

• Cobras (Indian, Spitting, and King)
• Banded krait and various tree vipers (not all snakes are poisonous but lots are)
• Pythons (10’ plus is common)
• Monitor lizards (can administer a nasty, easily infected bite)
• Mongooses (chickens and ducks beware)
• Bamboo rat (can weigh up to 4 kilos)
• Scorpions (the large black kind and the small more dangerous red kind)
• Centipedes  (painful and poisonous bite)
• Red weaver ants (very irritating bite)
• Small red fire ants (tiny, but they swarm, and their bites are excruciating)
• Cockroaches (the huge flying kind, love to get stuck in your hair)
• Swarming flying termites (millions come out on a rainy season evening)
• Stinging Caterpillars (just a brush by one of these feels like a blow torch hit you)

And that’s just my house.

I hope it whets your appetite :-)

Happy reading.

Queens Park Escape

I had to escape form the Mound of Round that inhabits the floor space of my apartment and talked to Thavorn and she too needed to escape for a variety of reasons ... so we put Jaidan into the kangaroo pouch and disappeared for 4 hours.

On our way we stopped at CoffeeBean because I had accumulated some 'buy 1 get 1 free' vouchers so we ordered 2 caramel ice-blended and a blueberry muffin ... warmed up ... for Jaidan to nibble on. After our treat we headed out to Queen's Park. Queens Park which was dedicated by the current Queen to the people of Bangkok and it is a central recreational area for both Thais and farangs.

Dedication Monument

Beautiful walkways - jogging track around the outside.

Man made lake with fountain in the middle. Emporium Shopping Center in distance.

Many workout areas get used at night when it cools down.

Park benches get lots of use ... nice breeze.

Thai game played without hands ... mostly head and feet.

Basketball action picks up at night when the big kids come out as sun goes down.

Skate board park is huge!

Many statues adorn the park.

There are 2 major kid play areas.

A bevy of Monks await ...

Somewhat like Easter Island ...

 Each monk is quite distinct ...

My favorite

Somewhat serious.

No young monks here ... I wonder if they represent real life monks.

Thavorn doing the Buddhist thing ... much of it I do not understand.

Thavorn waiting for her 'water' blessing.

The fountains come alive with the monks in the distance.

Lots of fountains ... they light up at night.

I have been suggesting to Thavorn it is time for Jabba and the kids to go home. I know she is tired of cooking 2 large meals a day .... and I am certainly tired of cleaning up after them. Thavorn says her mom is bored so it may happen soon ... not sure how 'eat ... sleep .. and watch TV' differs in Bangkok from the village apart from the aircon, better selection of TV channels .. and lack of mosquitoes and hence mosquito netting. I think she misses the gossip that always goes on in a small village. She is now the 'go to person for how to bag a farang'.

I also discovered that Jabba is pressuring Thavorn for money to get an addition on her home and some repairs done. This is pretty standard faire for momma's of Thai girls who have farangs as boyfriends. They assume that the WATM (walking Automated Teller Machine) is never short of money. This WATM is short after ponying up over $50,000 to get out of his existing marriage this past year!

I also object to the assumption that I will pay for it. I told Thavorn there is no way I would. I also shared my opinion that her moma would be dead within 2 years due to a stroke or heart attack due to her obesity so it made no sense to put any money into the dwelling (hard to call it a house). I would not be at all surprised to find out that Jabba is diabetic.

I am thankful that Thavorn is not 'Thai Thai' (my term for traditional Thai) and is strong willed enough to say no! Of course the brother and sister are never asked to put into repairs as they are traditionally Thai poor. 

Unfortunately a farang boyfriend is often viewed the same as winning the lottery for the whole extended family.  Not with this farang! No doubt I will return to 'farang fleecing' from time to time in this blog :-)

TTYL

Silom Sauna

The Silom Sauna is located on Soi 22 and it is composed of a 2 story arrangement of corrugated steel living units. I believe it is named the Silom Sauna as a joke because it must get unbelievably hot in there, especially at this time of year. It is populated mainly by the itinerant Myanmar construction workers and down on their luck (and funds) farangs. Reminders of a typical bar saying ... 'No money, no honey'. It is not unusual to see a farang sitting on the sidewalk with a sign ... need money to go home ...

The Silom Sauna

Thavorn's family minus her sister. Her brother looks possessed ... check out the eyes.

Thavorn's brother Tum came to visit for the weekend. He lives in Bangkok about a 60 min taxi ride away. His wife is home in her village expecting their 2nd child. When Tum's wife was pregnant with their first child (not married) Tum was shot by his gf's family because they were pissed Tum got her pregnant. Tum has the usual future prospects of most Thais with a grade 9 education (minimum wage for life). Tum was not a catch. 

Tum had to go to the hospital and bullet wounds are not treated for free (and at least in this case, not reported to the police) so Jabba had to borrow 20,000 Baht form the village loan shark to pay for the surgery (1 year loan). Of course in true Thai tradition a year later ... Jabba had not saved the necessary 20,000 to pay the loan off so the resident MATM (mobile automatic teller machine ... yours truly) was tapped for the necessary funds to keep the wolf from the door. Again, in true Thai 'saving face' there was no thank you or acknowledgement of the deed by Jabba or Tum. Thavorn was happy and did say thank you. Thavorn is very unThaiLike (new word I just invented).

Tum has been accepted into his gf's family and I must admit the wedding was lots of fun and Tum's gf's (name purposely left out) mom is hot ... even with the road rash from the latest motorcycle accident.

Thavorn's family having dinner.

I now have 4 family members to feed. Jaidan and I eat alone as he prefers his high chair and I prefer a seat at the table. Little do rural Thais know that only cats and dogs eat on the floor in Canada. I have kept that little detail to myself and Thavorn can discover it for herself when She and Jaidan visit ... hopefully in May of 2016.

Jaidan and I went for our daily walk about 1 pm and I was dismayed that my favorite bar tender (Puis ...  Lady) is now working the night shift from 6 pm to 6 am (instead of the day shift from 6 am to 6 pm ... all for 300 Baht). The new bar tender is some 15 year old kid who just finished his grade 9 and is now in the workforce. Such is life in Thailand.

I guess it is not much different in Canada because education is only mandatory until 16 years of age although most Board's of Education) will have over 95% graduation rates to grade 12. In Thailand it is 59%.

At times I am beginning to feel like Archie Bunker ...

TTYL

Quiet and Hung Over

Today is certainly a quiet day. Last night we added one more stop to our itinerary ... Crazy House.

Crazy House is aptly named. It sits just outside of the Soi Cowboy naughty night life area and is easily the most laissez-faire bar in Bangkok.

It was actually not that busy for a Friday evening which meant we could actually move around inside. It is a two level bar with a glass ceiling which makes for entertaining viewing no matter where you are standing or sitting. I got a big hello from 'Chocolate' one of the bar girls I chat with quite often. 

While I was chatting with Chocolate, Thavorn was dancing up a storm with a couple of visiting farangs from England who were trying to pick her up. Everybody loves attention and Thavorn is no different and she played them well but did not resort to having them buy her drinks before returning to our group of four.

We passed a quick 2 hours having fun, too many vodka and Red Bulls .... and then decided to take a taxi home rather than walk as we usually do.

We arrived home about 2 am and Thavorn spent some time talking to the toilet before retiring to sleep. That meant I was on Jaidan feedings for the rest of the night so I am a bit grouchy and sleepy ... besides being hung over.

If you are ever in Bangkok make sure you spend some time at 'Crazy House'. Best time to arrive is around 11 pm.

Girls outside Crazy House ... Taking a break.

TTYL

Friday Night in Bangkok

There is certainly no shortage of things to do on a Friday night in Bangkok (or any other night).

Thavorn and I will enjoy a night out and Jabba and Thai will babysit tonight. This is the first time we feel we can go out for an evening. Jaidan has adapted to the louder noise level and should be okay for a couple of hours until he falls asleep.

We are meeting a fellow Canadian expat and his new Thai girlfriend at 7 pm at a local English Pub by the name of 'Robin Hood'. It is extremely popular with expats. It is an easy walk for us ... 20 mins or a 3 minute motorcycle taxi ride.

The 'Hood' from outside ... motorcycle taxi stand is convenient.

The 'Hood' from inside ... full of farangs.

Thavorn and Fon will feel at home even though most of the crowd is Farang. They can also converse in Thai when they get tired of the farang talk. It is an easy going place and it is easy to forget you are in Bangkok. Thavorn and I will get there about 6:45 because happy hour is over at 7 pm (beer is half price and wine is 140 Baht a glass). We won't spend much time there ... just a brief respite to discuss the evening and then we will head down the street (Sukhumvit) to have a nice dinner in a trendy new restaurant.

The Wolf Grill and Wine Bar.

It looks like it may be a wine night tonight which is fine with Thavorn and me because we both like wine and have not done a wine night for quite a while. The food looks to be nouveau cuisine.

I may want to eat something before I get there as I may be hungry after my meal :-)

Presentation looks good ... but presentation won't fill you up ... just make you think you are getting your money's worth.

After dinner we will walk on down the street (Sukhumvit) to the Sheraton Grande Hotel ... perhaps Bangkok's finest hotel and book into the 'Living Room' to listen to some live jazz and perhaps indulge with the unlimited 'wine flow' ... but then again we may already be a little tipsy by then.

All bets are off after midnight and you can go to sunrise if you have wings (Red Bull). But wine and Red Bull don't go well together ... so it could be home to bed ... not that I am whining (pun intended).

TTYL