There has been an interesting change in my readership over the past month.
Russia has moved into 2nd place with France still number 1. Baffles my mind ...
If you search the net for information on how Thai women - Farang men relationships evolve you will no doubt find a lot of information stating very few relationships end up happily ever after. If you factor in a Thai bar girl then the success stories are fewer still. 'Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places' may play a part, but I believe that may be overcome with a little due diligence and some knowledge of the economics of the bar industry.
The first things farangs have to understand is Thai women view us a quite different from Thai men. Sometimes this view is positive and sometimes it is simply curious. The odd time, we are viewed with a bit of contempt. If perhaps you encounter a bar girl who does not immediately warm up to you I suggest you move on quickly.
The second thing you have to understand is that Thai women view farangs as walking ATM's. They think all farangs are hi-so which is definitely not the case with many of the punters who visit the bars looking for fun. Bar girls will dismiss you if they view you as a cheap Charlie. However, do not feel you have to buy every bar girl a drink who asks you too. You can politely decline and they will move on.
The third thing you have to understand is that the bar is the source of their income and they are there to earn as much money as possible. That means they would rather do two short terms in a night rather than one long term. Having said that, if you are fun, and are willing to entertain the lady then getting her out of the bar for the night to enjoy a little music and dancing and breakfast in the morning is something to be considered. This is what is referred to as the GFE (girl friend experience) which was once common in Bangkok but is more rare as of late.
The fourth thing to consider is that given a choice, the lady would prefer to enjoy the encounter so she would prefer a good looking, fit, man to an ugly fat man. Duh, who would have thought so :-)
Ugly, fat, old guys, who don't smile get refused often or pay a premium price (and don't even consider long term). Thai women don't have any hangups about sex and actually seem to enjoy sex :-)
The fourth thing to consider is that older bar girls are usually fed up with Thai guys and are actively looking to find a farang partner for life. Younger Thai girls working in bars will often have a Thai boyfriend who drops them off at work and lives off their earnings. Sooner or later these younger girls realize they are are being used by their Thai boyfriends and dump them. I characterize a young Thai girl as anyone under about 28 years of age.
The fifth thing to understand is 'The Times They are a Changing'. Most of the bar girls have a grade 10 education because it costs money to go to grade 11 and 12. However, the internet is a great educator and Thai bar girls usually have the latest Samsung or iPhone and spend a lot of time on the net, most of it on Facebook (unfortunately). Bar girls know how much they are worth in the market place and are not willing to sell themselves short.
The sixth thing to understand is that the girl's loyalty is first and foremost to her family. When you choose the girl you inherit the family. Your best hope is an only child whose parents have already died :-) If you hit it off with the girl and she really likes you then she will ask, 'You look after me?' What this really means if you are willing to provide for me, my children, my parents, and maybe siblings then I will look after you and make you happy for the rest of your life. Thai women can be incredibly loyal if you get the right one. The amount required to look after her will be at least the current amount she is earning in the bar. The good news is the amount required is usually less than what it would take to keep a spouse happy back in your home country.
The seventh thing to understand is that most of these girls will have at least one, more likely 2, and often 3 kids parked back in the village with her mother. Most of the time, the father is absent or dead already. This is the main reason they are working the bar. They send most of the money home to look after their kids and as a type of pension for the Grandmother. You will be inheriting this responsibility.
So, if you are ready to take the plunge, the rewards is a loving partner, who seldom says no to anything you ask (up to you) and is lots of fun and easy on the eyes. What's not to like? Oops, I almost forgot .. you really do not want to piss her off :-)
TTYL
I think there ought to be some mention of the fact that most farangs who visit and fall in "love", don't live in Thailand full-time, so how do they plan to maintain a distance relationship? None of the women I have ever talked to were keen on leaving Thailand.
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