Jaidan

Today's song is: She is Always a Woman  .. Billy Joel

I have two very wonderful children, Jaime (29) and Jordan (27) who have brought me great joy throughout my life. I was both a father and a coach to both of them, They were both exceptional athletes and for the most part, extremely coach-able. To have that duo relationship with your children has it ups and downs but for the most part is very positive. It certainly gives us much to talk about when we get together to reminisce. Both Jaime and Jordan are now teachers in Ottawa, Canada and it is my hope they will pay it forward and also become coaches as they have so much to offer.

I had Jaime and Jordan quite late in life. Jaime when I was 36 and Jordan when I was 38. I distinctly remember Jordan coming home one day and asking me, 'Dad, why are you so old? All of my parent's friends are so much younger.' That was mildly disturbing back then, but a harbinger (WOTD) of things to come.

Marriage partners all become empty nesters at some point in their lives and my marriage did not survive that syndrome. After 32 years I ended up divorced and all alone with a void in my life to fill. I was also on the other side of the planet from my friends (except for one) and family. I missed coaching and young people. Teenagers keep you young. That is one of the perks of teaching and coaching.

I know an expat teacher in Bangkok who goes by the name of Old Man Dan who is still teaching. One day I asked Old Man how old he actually was. Old Man looked at me and smiled and said, 'You know Jim, you are only as old as the woman you are currently with.' Intrigued, I asked, 'And how old does that make you?'. Old Man replied  .. 21 years. I later discovered that Old Man Dan is actually 71 and has been happily married for the past 3 years.

Bangkok has more bars than any place I know of. If you can't have fun in Bangkok, there is seriously, something wrong with you. You can have more fun with someone else, whether they be male or female, so being footloose and fancy free I met a Thai girl that I ended up living with for a couple of years. She eventually got tired of waiting for my divorce to go through and we ended up slowly parting ways and she eventually married a hi-so Thai business man and seems quite happy, but childless. She would be a wonderful mom but life is not being kind to her. We still stay in contact and chat weekly.

As we were slowly parting ways I met crazy Nam. Crazy Nam was my walk on the wild side. I have a standard joke I use with Thai women who have a farang boyfriend. I always tease them about keeping a young Thai boy under the bed for entertainment. Crazy Nam was a very busy bar girl and I was her equivalent of a Thai boy under the bed. It was a strange relationship from the get go and we mostly saw each other from 2:30 am to 10 am. I affectionately refereed to her as GF2, with the departing GF as GF1.

It was during this time period that I met Thavorn. My Dad always used to say, 'Never shop for groceries when you are hungry and never shop for cars when you need one.' I learned the wisdom of this over the years. One night when I was free (no GF1 or GF2 on the horizon) I was a little bit bored and went for a walk and discovered Thavorn. Someday I will recount the story of how our relationship blossomed into what it is, but this post is about Jaidan. Thavorn became GF3 and GF1 went her own ways and GF2 discovered GF3 and after a big argument we said our goodbyes.

I am not a big believer in fate (Thais are!) but both Thavorn and I are year of the Tiger and my birthday is September 23 and hers is September 24 (we celebrate both at midnight). Thavorn spoke no English when I met her which is usually a show stopper for me, but for some reason we clicked. We have been together now for 3.5 years and have seldom stopped laughing. Her English is now quite good as she is smart and a quick learn.

Thavorn was 27 when we met, so according to Old Man Dan, I was also 27, but was chronologically 63. That did not seem to make much of a difference to either of us and is probably why 9 months later Thavorn told me she thought she was pregnant. So off to Cabbages and Condoms (a local restaurant and Abortion Clinic we went). We had an ultrasound done and sure enough, there was that little speck that would become Jaidan. We weren't quite sure what to do. Thavorn already had 3 children (yet another story for another day) and WTF, I was now 64!  We played 'Up to you' for about a week and then I pushed Thavorn to make a decision and she asked me a poignant (WOTD) question, 'Jimmy, if I keep the baby, will you stay with me?'. I answered, of course, and 9 months later we were rewarded with baby Jaidan. I was not sure what my best expat friend would think so a couple of days later we went for a beer and I explained the situation, and was expecting a, 'You dumb fuck ...!', but what I got was, 'You are so blessed, babies are God's gift to mankind.' Go figure.

 We laughed through the 9 months of pregnancy, at least I did as Thavorn chucked her breakfast every morning (cursing the farang baby inside her) and started to walk like an old lady with a cane, or the rolling preggie walk that I often imitated which really pissed her off. The local folks on our soi were intrigued and we often had to answer to, 'When baby come?', or 'You know, boy or girl?' We never did get to know the sex until Jaidan made his appearance on July 31st in the hi-so hospital with a private 5 star room, that I insisted upon. Thavorn thought it was a waste of money. She gave birth to her 3rd child, after a 45 minute ride on the back of a 125 cc motorbike, while in labor the whole trip. Thai women take child birth without breaking stride!

Jaidan is simply a delight. He was born during the year of the horse and never walks, but runs, but more like a gallop, everywhere. No doubt he will be ADDH like Jordan especially as Thavorn and I are both 'thumpers' and hyperactive. I can hardly wait until he comes home one day and asks me, 'Poppa, why are you so old?' He is a gift from God and makes me smile all day long. I only hope I live another 19 years and see him reach 21 years of age. If I do, I will die a happy man.

I now understand the attraction of grand kids. The difference being I supplied my own. Would I recommend this approach to everyone? Hardly likely, but as momma always used to say, 'Jimmy you are just like Walter Mitty  .. always dreaming!'

As for Jaidan, this poem comes to mind.

On the Road There Stands a Tree, I say to my mother,
listen ... Don't try to stop me ... In a moment, Mama,
I'm going to become a bird. (LLAP)

That is my Jaidan, just like his Poppa :-)

TTYL