Spousal abuse is a catch all phrase for many things but is often viewed as a male partner hitting a female partner. However, research shows that men are often just as likely to experience spousal abuse albeit, often of a different form, other than physical lashing out. Unfortunately, men are less likely to report spousal abuse for a variety of reasons.
More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals
Campaign group Parity claims assaults by wives and girlfriends are often ignored by police and media
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence
You might be experiencing domestic violence if your partner:
- Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
- Prevents you from going to work or school
- Stops you from seeing family members or friends
- Tries to control how you spend money, where you go or what you wear
- Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
- Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
- Threatens you with violence or a weapon
- Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
- Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
- Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/domestic-violence-against-men/art-20045149
Most of the articles reporting on spousal abuse are biased towards women, (https://crcvc.ca/docs/spousalabuse.pdf) but times are a changing. Women are often the major bread winner in a family nowadays and control the finances. Enrollment in most Canadian universities is approaching 70% female enrollment. The educational system is mostly staffed by females, which includes the administration jobs of principals' superintendents and directors. A male seldom sees a male teacher until High School. There is definitely a lack of role models in our school system for male students.
Our schools have been feminized and physical contact games such as king of the hill, red rover, and piggy back pull downs are now banned from our school yards. No more tackle football at recess or lunch hour.
Whole language instruction favors girls whereas phonetics favored boys and girls equally. A communication component has been added to every subject area and girls, by nature and observation are more verbal. The male math nerd who can answer any math question on paper seldom wins the Math award in our High Schools nowadays.
My point is, males need the equivalent of the women's feminist movement. Males have to start advocating for themselves.
So, what is the tipping point reference in this blog's title meant to represent. In my experience, verbal abuse is often the trigger that sets off the physical abuse that males retaliate with. The name calling and talking behind another person's back is much more prevalent in women than men. The reason being, is that men will physically confront another man than get into a he said, she said, tit for tat (sorry, know not PC).
Males in a verbally abusive relationship with their spouse can either confront it physically, which is a lose/lose solution, simply take it and retreat into their job, hobby, or man cave (garage), lose/win solution, or simply leave the relationship, walk away and enter into the female dominated divorce industry, which is again, a lose/win scenario in the short term but is a male win scenario in the long term.
As hard as it is, I encourage men in a verbally abusive relationship to not let their spouse control their emotions and to plan their exit from the abusive relationship asap, as it won't get any better. Children are often the catalyst to hang in there way past time for a departure, but the alternative of subjugating yourself to a verbal abusive relationship and then lashing out is not going to work for you as is seen so often in the news these days.
Blow the whistle on her early .. this hidden abuse needs to stopped in its tracks ..
TTYL
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